The adventure: A risky leap proves that citizens are ill-advised to try to fly.
The time: May 1984
The place(s): Rookhope
View original tweet (warning, contains nostalgia)
This is a Public Information Despatch from the ZEBRA Health & Safety Authority.
It has come to our attention that children have recently been jumping from the plateau known as Chesa Peake, in an apparent attempt to fly.
We regret to advise that this has led to the hospitalisation of at least one boy, identified only as ‘E’, for Data Protection reasons.
One witness, ZEBRA Cadet Le Thal, reported “He just kept saying he was ‘definitely a wood pigeon’. We tried to stop him but…”
‘E’ appears to have been saved by a significant gust of wind: A Mrs Buxton, of Rookhope, witnessed him landing “with a splash” in a river some distance away.
However, the Authority would like to remind all citizens that jumping off cliffs is likely to result in serious injury or death.
We would also like to advise that rumours of human-bird hybridisation are strictly forbidden, and will be immediately Broomed.